It's been quite some time since I have had time to sit down and seriously do any type of writing...or anything else for that matter. Sometimes life just swallows you up. This has been one of those times. I guess I should be glad about it, many complain about having noting to do...so....yeah. Not complaining...really. Well, maybe a little. It has been taking away from other areas of my life and interests like...the outdoors, art, music...writing, cooking, keeping in touch with friends in person (not Facebook ...doing stuff. I think you can get the picture: I've been busy. I'm trying to be philosophical about the current cycle: It's just a cycle and like all cycles, it will end heralding another different cycle that I will find something to complain about. Well, at least there will be something constant about it ;-).
On to other things~ I missed most of Dickens fair this year and have been reminded of a valuable lesson: Be careful what you wish for! I had misgivings about working it after I signed on...and then I got sick not one weekend but three. Super. Haven't been sick in years. So there we have it. I missed all the people that I normally see at fair that I rarely get to see. I missed seeing any shows or doing any shopping that I wanted to do while at Dickens. I'm a bit irritated about that. I was hoping to trade in my corset for a newer bigger one and have a blown glass goblet fashioned for me plus pick up some gifts for friends and family. This has been blown to bits and now I have to wait until next year. That is if I'm still around-remember, nothing in life is guaranteed....except the unexpected and death. A bit dark you say for a Christmas blog? Well, that is how life is so get used to it.
Well, besides being sick, the flu medicine helped give me some crazy dreams. Normally I would have my typical "fight the alien invader" dreams filled with action and adventure but those haven't really been happening as of late. I have had more flying dreams. Two notable ones were one with me as a giant dark blue gargoyle. I was so happy flying around in the night sky with the Nigh Crawler from the X-men. Strange but wonderful dream. The next dream took place during the day and I was with a group that were the same as me. We were all like owls but we were all covered in feathers and what looked like golden porcupine quills. I can't explain it except that in both dreams, I was some type of guardian and I belonged to a greater group. The last dream happened right before I woke up for work and wasn't a flying dream but of me with a man and I couldn't tell for sure if he was the same man I always see but he may have been. We were facing each other and were having a very serious conversation when he thrust his hand into my chest and pulled out my heart. He held it in his hand in front of me and then repeated the process on himself. He stuffed his heart where my heart was and then placed my heart in where his was. As he did this he said, "There, now my heart belongs to you". At that time I was speechless but when I woke up my first thought on the dream was, "As mine is yours." It makes me sad to think about. The flying dreams are so much happier. Damn cold medicine.
As for my Anxiety~ Well, it comes and goes. Things trigger it it, mostly driving home after work. I have no idea why driving would trigger it but it does. It's really annoying but fortunately it's nothing like it was last year so I am happy to deal with this instead of how it used to be. I am currently lowering my SJW to just one capsule a day and seeing how that goes. I hate having to take something every stinking day but if I do, I would prefer it be as small as possible.
On to crafty things!~ My time to make knitted hats for the homeless people around my work have been seriously limited. I have only been able to make two and I gave one to a friend to donate to a church and I gave the other to a man I see on the corner pretty frequently. He seemed happy about getting the hat, I hope it serves him well for what ever purpose he has for it. I really would like to make some more and donate them or hand them out. It bothers me that I can't get more out sooner but there is only so much time available so I have to be realistic about what I would like to do. I'm still going to push my self, however. This needs to be done. What else needs to be finished is the throw blanket I'm working on for a friend for Christmas. Obviously, if I'm writing about it...I haven't finished it yet. Words cannot express how irritated I am that I was unable to complete this project. I will have to snap a picture and include it in a card with a promise of more to come!
More crafty tings!~ Besides knitting projects I also didn't get a chance to do my home made cards. This also bothers me. I was looking forward to making them but I just haven't had the time or artistic inspiration of photographs to complete them. Argh!! So annoying. The one thing I have had headway in was my Shrinky-Dink ornament project. I was able to complete several "Tea Shop" themed ornaments for a few of the people at the Tea Shop but I haven't been able to work on the other items I want to make. Again with the Annoying!!My Facial Experiment.....Yeah, I got tired of following that regime for the most part. There was improvement when I was following it up to a point but that point was cataloged so that's pretty much it. I do use my Clarisonic, facial exercise and use Philosophy on a daily basis so I haven't stopped everything, just the light-stim. I will use it when I have a little more leisure time or a bad break out ;-).
On to today~ I woke up to a Christmas and for the first time in my life, I did not have a present under the tree to open. I wasn't sad about this but philosophical. What does this mean? Perhaps my gift this year is not something that one can touch but simply the knowledge that one has accomplished. I have all that I need, so I don't need anymore "things". My place is small and packed, "things" is not something I want. What I had wanted during the year was simply paying off debt and having enough to live a simple life. This I have accomplished this year after seven years of struggling. That is my gift. It's something that can't be wrapped under a tree but it is a gift to be given to one's self and appreciated. I am thankful for this. I am thankful that I have succeeded with this goal and the necessities necessary to live. All I wanted was a simple life with enough to live comfortably and I am there. I never asked for more than I needed nor have I wanted it. Seriously, I can't imagine needing anything more for myself. I can only think of a few small things that aren't in my life, but these are things that I exclude from my life on purpose and for the better.
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