Haven't updated my blog in a while, I've been pretty busy at work. Hell, I usually am but my boss recently decided to lay off my coworker that works upfront with me and my other coworker during the day and then work in the back during clinic. The boss claims that it was a financial decision. I'm sure it was but not for the reasons others would suspect. I won't get into it but it's been a freaking nightmare for me and my coworker in the front office trying to do our jobs and do my co-worker's job duties too. I just "love" working 10 to 12 hour shifts a day. Yeah. "Love" it. I hope if you are reading this you are catching the sarcasm in the "love" statements. If you aren't....then read it again but with sarcasm. That's better!Aside from that, I have gone back to being vegetarian. I was a strict vegetarian for years but I fell off the wagon. I was tempted by the grilled aroma of flesh...and it was good! Dammit...why do they have to taste so delicious?!! However, the guilt of how the poor little critters where treated and their miserable lives up until they are killed with out any kindness shown to them their entire lives....yeah, I can't support that. I won't spend another dime to support that. The animals have feelings and souls. Just because they can't speak doesn't mean they are beneath those that can. I am glad that I have gone back to being a vegetarian although I will not give up my dairy. Sorry....can't doo eet. I love it too much. Oh and I do have fish every now and then...but I still feel guilty about it. Heck, I've already lost some inches since I've stopped eating the meat. Not surprised really since I was super skinny when I was sticking to the vegetarian diet last time. It's a healthier choice for me (mentally and physically).
Now lets touch the topic of dreams. Lately I have been having extremely vivid dreams with many featuring people that I know have passed on. It's like they are just coming by to touch bases and visit while hanging out in my dreams and joining in what every odd shenanigans are going on in them. There have even been a couple with me confronting a few people that needed confronting (names withheld because they are still living and I don't want to spoil the surprise when I do get to jack their asses up...or at least watch when Karma bites them in the ass. And it will).The dream I had last night/this morning was sort of odd. I'm standing on a hill over looking hills covered with yellow and purple flowers and buildings/homes. The best I can make of it is a mix up of the area I lived when I was 4 years old and where I am living now. It was quite beautiful. I remember just staring and watching while feeling the wind and the sun. I remember there was someone there but I couldn't see them but they were talking to me. A group of people and I had just completed some type of task and I walked away from the others to regroup and that's when I heard the voice of the invisible person. It sounded like it could have been a woman.
It had something to do with "the man in my dreams". The one that is always featured as my spouse or boyfriend (I've been dreaming about this mysterious man for decades). He was missing in this dream and I hear the voice and it was right up against my ear saying, "He's here". I woke right up and it was 7:00 am so there wasn't any reason to go back to sleep but that voice sounded like the person was literally standing on the side of the bed speaking into my ear. It unnerved me a bit. I'm not sure if that statement was literal or figurative....but it sticks with me. It sticks with me much like all the other dreams of him. I never see his actual face, just the hair and sometimes the eyes, sometimes the voice. I'm inclined that this person has never been an actual human being but is just someone that populates my mind to torment me until I either become senile or just kick the bucket.
Seems kind of fitting actually, not having an actual fella but an dream one. I already qualify for "the crazy cat/animal lady" moniker so this is probably a side effect of the title along with always being alone with out company. I know some of my neighbors and most of my friends have to think this. Never goes out, doesn't talk to anyone but just works and hangs with her pets. I can see how that might disconcert some people. I guess I just like hanging by myself and with my pets, they are pretty good company. Everyone has families and significant others and to be honest...I hate being a third or fifth wheel in any circumstance so I just don't bother putting myself out there. I guess this attitude is a family trait on my father's side so I just go with my nature. Grandfather lived in the mountains with nature by himself and he was perfectly content as a hermit. My dad pretty much the same thing. The only difference between both of them and me (besides me being female, obviously) is that I have communication through the Internet and don't want to cut my self off absolutely. Not yet anyway. My mom was a freaking social butterfly, I can be one too if I feel like it...sometimes...okay, rarely. But the mountains and trees always call to me! They are always calling to me!Heh! This is my life and this is who I am. Call me crazy if you like, that's fine because I'll probably agree with you ;-).
