Dream blog

This last week has been filled with unusual dreams.  Some are my usual "fighting invading space aliens adventure" dreams but there have been a few that are a bit different.  Last Monday, I had a dream that started out normal and then switched to me separating from the people I was with.  I wandered into a meadow and paused.  The sky was beautiful filled with violets and golds, the sun had just past the horizon and the stars were starting to pop out.  The meadow was surrounded by pine and I heard crickets starting to call to one another.  I stood there for a moment to take it all in and then I looked up into the sky and felt a wave of sadness and loneliness and asked out loud, "Where are you?"  In my dream I was asking where my "significant other" was.  Who ever that would be.  I would guess that it would be the man that I have seen in my dreams over the years.  It was a really melancholy moment and then something drew me out of the dream and I started waking up.  Normally I sleep with a long knitted cap pulled over my eyes to keep my head warm and the light out of my eyes but the cap had ridden up a bit and I could see the side of my bed.  I saw a dark but transparent figure leaning against the window with his arms folded across his chest looking down at me.  As I started to realize what I was seeing and stirring a bit more, he sort of "dissipated".  He looked like a smoke statue being blown away from the head down and the smoke was blown out of my bedroom door.  I laid there for a minute to process what I just saw and then I got up to make myself some coffee, obviously I needed it.  That dream, like a few others, has stuck with me.

My dream this morning was a bit different.  It started of with the regular random strangers wandering around in some shopping plaza then I noticed that there were orange fishes that were hopping out of a pool and they were started to spawn and create fry.  My first thought was that I had better get to work.  I head straight to a pet store and I notice that the huge orange fish are doing the same thing there too.  I walk to the back and I see my son sitting waiting for me by the bird cages which is near the fish tanks.  He says "Hi mom" I say hello back and apologize for keeping him waiting while I started working on the fish tanks to prepare to clean up the eggs and fry the fish were creating.  I see a bunch of noisy annoying shoppers teasing the birds and it starts to irritate me, my son notices too but I keep to what I was doing.  I start talking to him about the different types of birds and their habitats and ask if he would like me to lift him so he can see them better.  He gets embarrassed and indignant for a 9 year old and states he can do it himself.  So I pull a stool for him so he can get a better look while I work.  Then my boss in the dream comes out and then I start waking up.

Keep in mind, I don't have children and I am not able to have children because something goes wrong and I miscarry.  So I suppose that this would be the child I should have had but never did in my dream and my job would be the job I should have had but didn't.  Ah but life isn't like that, is it?  I do remember what my son looks like though.  Cute little guy with very similar features as mine but with a bit darker coloring.  His eyes were a bit more hazel than mine and his nose is a little different, I suppose these features are more like the father (who ever that would be in my dream).  His hair is a dark golden  blonde and he's wearing a stripped long sleeve shirt with multi-colors and a dark vest.  He has blue jeans and hiking boots to round off the outfit pairing it with a toy train or truck, I couldn't tell but the toy was blue with yellow wheels.  I could tell he would grow up to be handsome and have a much larger frame than my own (thank goodness).  I knew he would favor his father in that respect.  These are the things I knew in my dream and I am glad that I can remember them still but I wanted to get it down before it starts to fade.  The dream comforted me strangely, I guess it's nice to know that maybe in an alternate universe or dream world I can have those things that I had always wanted in the first place. It's becoming to late to have any family of my own, age wise and for other reasons already mentioned, it simply was not meant to be for me.  It's nice to know that some version of me was able to and I am here in this reality so I had better make the best of it the best that I can.  Who knows what tomorrows dreams will bring for me?

It's the "Woke up at 3:30 am blog"

Yep.  No one that I know likes to get woken up at 3:30 in the morning for no good reason other than my oldest cat was thumping around in my closet.  Suspiciously thumping around.  The kind of thumping around that makes a cat owner think, "I think that stupid cat just went pee in my closet."  Yeah, that kind of thumping around.  Needless to say, I got up and sniffed around in the closet and couldn't really confirm anything but I'm going to have to check it out more thoroughly later.  Gordo (the suspect) looked at me and hopped right back onto the bed and went to her spot. 

Since I was up I headed to the kitchen for water and other "up in the middle of the night" duties and then went right back to bed.  The kitten, Alice decided that she would follow me around in the hopes that I might give her food while I was up-no chance at that hour.  I went straight back to bed in the hopes that I would be able to fall right back to sleep.
Haaha hahahaaa ha ha. Ha.

I got back to my comfortable spot and layed there hoping the sleep would catch up to me.  In the mean time Gordo decides she's going to get some attention.  I scratched her head and hoped she would go back to sleep.  Then the kitten came on the bed and started purring.  I never noticed just how LOUD the kitten purred.  She decided to cuddle up to me and lay there purring.  Gordo starts meowing for more attention since the kitten is on the bed while head butting me.  Then Benjamin decided it was a good time to jump on the bed and try to get some attention too. 

So much for falling right back to sleep.

I'm not sure how much time went by while I layed there and soothed the fuzzy beasts enough to leave me alone to sleep but it was enough for them all to settle down and sleep.  I layed there and listened to the furry beasts sleep.  I could pick out each one's breathing and noted that the kitten snores.  I started listening to the world outside still shrouded in starlight.  Everything was quiet.  All the neighbors were sleeping.  There wasn't any traffic on the freeway.  My mind started wandering and I started to drift off until the kitten started having what sounded like a scary dream.  Since she was cuddled up in the nook of my arm, I could feel her breathing speed up and her feet start twitching.  She started to cry and wine in her sleep.  It made me wonder if she was dreaming about when she was trapped.  Was she dreaming about running away with her mother and siblings?  Was she dreaming about her mother running away and her not being able to catch up? Either way, it didn't sound like a pleasant dream. Her dreamed lasted a little bit so I reached over and lightly petted her until she was calm again and her breathing calmed down.

I tried to get comfortable by moving but discovered I was pretty wedged in between all three cats.  I would shift and one would start to purr.  I imagine most people would just kick the cats off the bed despite the fact that they are happy to snuggle and purr their contentment for being near their humans.  My beasties love me and I love them...even if they wake me up at 3:30 in the morning.  I must love them because any human that did that would face a terrible wrath brought on by me and my sparkling morning personality.  Don't get me wrong though, I must admit I wanted to strangle my stupid cat as I watched her walk out of my closet and then look up at me as if to say, "Oh!  Your up?"  Argh. 
I guess the difference between the two is people know better and animals don't.  So I let stuff like that slide.

Laying awake when one wants to go back to sleep but can't is a bit challenging.  The mind starts wandering and replaying different things.  Listening for things.  My mind was wandering to what I came home to the night before after work. 

There is a van with a homeless couple living in it that has been parked outside of the apartment now for the last few weeks.  I know they are friends with the neighbors in the building next door and the people in the van have a small boy.  I figured by the size of the boy that he was maybe 3 perhaps 4 years old.  I never said anything about it because I figured the homeless couple had it hard enough and I didn't want to add to it.  Apparently, my other neighbors thought the same thing...until the homeless man decided to plug and extension cord to our building and was stealing electricity and decided to use the garage as a bathroom.  Yeah.  Make yourself at home.....NOT.  Evidently this all happened while I was at work and one of my neighbors that lives in the building called the cops on the homeless couple to report them and to let them know that there was a child in danger. (Van pictured below)

The little boy is actually closer to five years old and doesn't really talk.  He doesn't really talk because he is stuck in a van with two parents that happen to be meth users that expose their young child to that crap.  Ya know, if you have enough money to buy crank, you have enough money to pay for a hotel room.  HOW freak'n selfish.  The little boy is supposed to be at school instead he's hanging out with his parents in a van parked outside an apartment building as guest to a closet tweaker that won't even let them stay inside his freak'n apartment.  And he is the one that invited them to visit.  Incredible. 

I layed in bed and thought about that, becoming more annoyed about it the more I thought about it.  It makes me wonder how long these people will be staying in front of the apartment building.  I know that one of my neighbors states that she doesn't feel safe with them there and the rest of my neighbors simply want them gone.  I wonder how this will all play out and if there will be any action taken by the Sheriff's department since they were called on it.  I wonder if my tweaker neighbor and his daughter will be evicted for this and have to move due to his stupidity.  I swear it like a freak'n soap-opera it's so stupid.  Yeah, it's a mindful.  I want the van gone but I wonder what will happen to the poor little boy.  By the time I was done with that topic, my alarm went off and it was time for me to get up.  So much for getting any more sleep.  At least I know I will sleep well tonight....after I close my closet to keep my stupid cat out of it.

I am currently armed with a huge cup of coffee but I see in my future a big cup of green tea.  I hope I don't drag tooo much today.